[SIZE="7"]I did it![/SIZE]

After months of brainstorming and eight months of writing scenes, I have finished the first draft of Angst.

Sometimes I wondered if I would ever actually complete it. Despite some discouragement about the characters and some comments that Angst shouldn't be written because we already have High School Musical, I stuck to it and now my work has paid off. I have a working 160-page script of Angst: A Camera Into the Life of the Bittersweet Generation.

Next up I'm looking to getting someone to put the songs to music. And besides that, finding some actors to perform it and a theater in which it can be performed.

I feel so up at having completed it. I think I'm celebrating with a margarita!

ACT II, SCENE 5

[In the kitchen at PAUL's house. His father, RAÚL MORENO, is there with him. MR. MORENO wears a solid polo shirt and jeans. PAUL has a backpack on his back, just having come home from school.]

MR. MORENO
Paul, I have to speak with you a minute.

PAUL
[Worried] What is it?

MR. MORENO
I received a call from Mr. Pittman. He says you were making out with another boy.

PAUL
That was Matt Kelly.

MR. MORENO
We don't do that, Paul. You can't grow up to be a homosexual.

PAUL
That's just who I am, OK?

MR. MORENO
I raised you to be a real man. You've got to be a man, Paul! Be a red-blooded American male! Go work on a car! Talk about girls instead of boys! Get your testosterone going!

PAUL
Well, guess what, Dad? Matt is hot. You got a problem with that?

MR. MORENO
You're not an adult. As long as you're living in my house, I'm going to make the rules and you're going to follow them! If I say you can't touch boys, you can't touch boys.

PAUL
NO!

MR. MORENO
[Yelling] I didn't work 16 years to raise a fag! When you grow up, I want you married to a woman! And I better see some grandchildren! You are not going to disrespect my efforts at raising a man! Do you want to burn in Hell? Because that’s where fags and gender-benders go!

PAUL
[Crying] Everyone says I'm so bad.

MR. MORENO
Stop that crying at once! Real males don't cry!

PAUL
You're just like every other adult who tells me I'm a bad person. You're not making me feel any better. Mr. Pittman doesn't like the fact that I'm gay or that I won't say yes to him. Mrs. Dahlgren sent me to the office for wearing my hat in class and got on me for talking about turds.

MR. MORENO
Paul, that's not the kind of thing adults talk about. We're going through the same thing, over and over again. I get a call about inappropriate behavior at school How many times is this going to go on before I can get through to you? Wake up! I want you to grow up to follow the straight and narrow path. Get a real job, find a wife, settle down.

PAUL
Guess what, I don't want a wife! I don't want to raise a family! I don't want to go to school or live in this stupid house. How come you never give me any choices!

MR. MORENO
Because I'm your parent – is that a good enough answer for you? I work my butt off every day to feed you, and clothe you, and shelter you . . . you don’t treat me like this in return!

PAUL
You never asked whether I wanted to live with you! You never even gave me a choice about whether I wanted to be born! Besides, I have my own job!

MR. MORENO
Are you saying you don't need me?

PAUL
Yes!

MR. MORENO
Now, you are grounded!

PAUL
Why the hell are you grounding me just because I like people with penises?

MR. MORENO
I think you answered your own question, young man. I'm doing this to help you, so you can get on a straight path when you grow up. Now, there's going to be no hanging out with your friends, no working at Grove Market. I want you to help me around the house and eat dinner with your family. Is that a deal?

PAUL
NO! [Walks off.] I’m not going to be punished because of who I like, I'm going to go out and do something really productive! Work!

(This post was last modified: 07-16-2010 01:31 AM by Savegraduation.)

Here's another scene. I don't like this scene, for some reason. Can you guys all help pinpoint exactly what it is that's wrong with it? Maybe if I have some input I can make it better.

ACT II, SCENE 6

[MELANIE is in her room. She has a razor in her hand.]

MELANIE
I’m worthless! It’s worthless! [Rubs razor against her wrist, as to cut it.] I can SCREAM all I want and nobody’s going to hear me! [Cuts wrists.] I’m trash, I’m trash, I’m trash. Little turd to be flushed down the toilet and never seen again! Because that’s my fate! [Continues to cut herself.] I’m just a prisoner. A PRISONER!

[BRYCE climbs in her open window. MELANIE continues to slit her wrists.]

MELANIE
I feel like I’m chained forever! I can’t breathe!

BRYCE
Hi, Mel– Melanie!

[MELANIE drops her razor.]

BRYCE
Oh my living god! Did I see what I think I saw? [Looks at the razor.] Well, that’s a razor.

MELANIE
Oh my god, you found out?

BRYCE
Is this just something you started to do, like last week?

MELANIE
[Crying] No. I cut myself. I’ve been doing this since I was 14. [Pauses.] I can’t let this get out. If Meghan and Lindsay knew, if my father knew . . .

BRYCE
I promise I’ll keep it a secret, Melanie.

MELANIE
You will? For me.

BRYCE
[Holding MELANIE’s hand] Sure. I love you.

MELANIE
And this won’t be the last time either. I’m probably going to cut myself again next week.

BRYCE
How are you feeling right now, Melanie?

MELANIE
I’m going to read you a poem I wrote. [Picks up a sheet of paper with lyrics to “Black Echoless Cry” written on it.]

[Sings]
Sullenly emitting
A black echoless cry
Across the vast wasteland
Where despair and defeat both lie
The shadows of my former self
Are just beyond your reach
As my stilted, stumbled, stunted speech
Falls into a black hole
And becomes chopped up into slices
Of my former, tortured soul
Vultures carve like vampires vivisecting my veins
Of nullifying, sacred opiate content
Until only my charcoal heart remains
And a path can be traced
To that heart substitute from my wrist
Wet snakes plod through and
Toss my life before my eyes into the abyss
My small world quaked
By little didactic, unnecessary devils
Throw me against the wall
I fall down, my hair dishevelled
I call for someone to pick me up
But who will pick me up?
I eat my poise and my illusionment
And then Death gives me a drink right from his cup
This lifeless husk
Is attached genetically to these chains
That surround me like vines
How can I escape them growing into my brain?
I am an invisible alien
No place in this indifferent world
They think a solitary, nubile, fallen girl’d
Do best to sit there silently
And suck right up the vacuum you abhor
And pass it through my nether stomach
Where it remains forevermore
[End of song]

BRYCE
Oh, Melanie, this isn’t going to change my love for you. You just need to get help for your depression.

MELANIE
I don’t want to call the teen crisis hotline. My little brother sometimes picks up the phone while I’m making calls. And a psychologist – that’s out of the question. If I start going to a shrink, my parents are going to find out I’m depressed. And that’s only a short trip to finding out I do this. [Turns her head.] Know what I mean?

BRYCE
Well, you can always come to me when you’re sad. Just for support. Because I’ll always care. And I won’t tell anyone. The only ones who know will be you – and me. Want a hug?

MELANIE
[Smiling.] Sure.

[BRYCE and MELANIE embrace.]

BRYCE
[Still hugging MELANIE] Melanie?

MELANIE
Huh?

BRYCE
I care about you. I find meaning in your existence. And I’d be very sad if I lost you.

MELANIE
You feel so real in my arms, Bryce.

BRYCE
And you feel so real in mine.

MELANIE
It will remind me that life is worth living, as long as I have you.

BRYCE
But you’re still going to cut yourself next week, right? Probably?

MELANIE
Probably.

[End of scene.]

I got too bored. It's nothing against your writing. I just want to hear the songs, I hate to read lyrics. Have you written music to it yet?

I have the music written for just a handful of songs.

YouTube links don't work on the new site, but here's a YouTube video of me singing "We Can Date Too":



I also have the song "Vague Resonations" audio-recorded. Maybe I can get that one online!

ACT II, SCENE 7

[In the school auditorium, at a rally. MR. PITTMAN introduces PAULINA BLUMBERG, the vice-principal of Dulcevida, a woman in her late sixties wearing sweatshirt, capris and tennis shoes. Students are attending.]

PITTMAN
And now, your vice-principal Ms. Blumberg will tell you about some upcoming events at Dulcevida.

BLUMBERG
Hi, everybody! Let’s get that Dulcevida spirit worked up with this rally. Go Dobermans!

[Cheer from the audience.]

BLUMBERG
Starting on the sixth, we’re going to have a canned food drive. Help the poor families of Tegopa and San Eduardo. All your contributions will go to local teens just like you and their families. So get those beans, soup and ramen in!

[Cheer from the audience.]

Then let’s not forget our annual toy drive. If you have a little sister who’s recently outgrown her Barbie dolls or a little brother who’s outgrown his G.I. Joes, encourage them to donate their toys to our toy drive. You’re also encouraged to buy some stuffed animals or some coloring books at the store and deliver them directly to our drive.

TRINA
She wants us to help perpetuate the cycle of toys and other property: they are bought by parents from cheesy malls, then given to ungrateful rich suburban children who throw them out after two months in exchange for the latest, grossest fad.

PAUL
I’m donating some ramen to the canned food drive instead.

BRYCE
Same here.

BLUMBERG
And then, juniors and seniors! You’ll have the opportunity of taking a class trip to Europe for two weeks! Get those permission slips in and see Versailles, the Parthenon, the Leaning Tower of Pisa!

ALAN
Doesn’t that sound great? I always wanted to see the coffeeshops of Paris where the Lost Generation hung out.

MELANIE
Yeah.

BRYCE
I knew you’d like that, Melanie.

ALAN
We have a giant hole in our lives that’s left open by not doing the things adults want us to do. All our parents have in store for us is a future with a stable job and marriage and children, abiding by the laws of America and accepting its restrictions.

SARAH
Yeah, I know. It’s like that’s what my parents expect me to be. I’ve never given thought to anything else.

PAUL
Sounds like something Mrs. Dahlgren tells us to do.

TRINA
And then by not taking up that life path, we’re left with a gap – an empty, alienated generation of youth, kept happy by material things and the modern global market. So upbeat, but so downbeat.

BRYCE
I’d say this was a way to fill the emptiness in our lives. Europe – that’s real.

[Everyone nods and says, “Yeah” or “I agree”.]

MELANIE
We’re going?

LINDSAY
I’m going.

MEGHAN
We’re going.

[End of scene.]

ACT II, SCENE 8

[At Grove Market. PAUL is walking around, having left the house despite being grounded.]

PAUL
[Crying] Why can’t my father love me? Why does being gay have to be so bad? Why? Well, I’m officially grounded and I’m officially here!

[Enter DANNY and TONY.]

DANNY
Hi, Paul!

PAUL
Hi, Danny! Hi, Tony.

TONY
Dude, I heard that your father grounded you for making out with Matt.

PAUL
Yep. That’s true. And I’m here right now.

DANNY
That was a strong thing to do, Paul. Because if you spend your week not gong out of the house, that’s one week you’ll never get back after you become an adult. And just because you’re gay.

PAUL
Yeah, but I’m not thinking of it that way. I don’t really have anything good to do with my life. Well, I’m going to do some cashier work. Mr. D’Alessandri wants me working the cash register. [Walks up to cash register.]

[SANJAY GHOSH, a 33-year-old Hindu man with sunglasses, tank top, blue jeans and flip-flops walks up to PAUL.]

SANJAY
Hey, how’s life treating you? You look a little down. You don’t like working here, is that it?

PAUL
Working here’s OK. It’s when I grow up that I’m concerned about. My teacher Mrs. Dahlgren told me that I’ll need to abide by social conventions in the working world.

SANJAY
Ha, really? She’s wrong.

PAUL
What do you mean?

SANJAY
I don’t. I just go around in casual clothes programming computer games all day. We have no rules at my workplace. That’s work for me, and it pays.

PAUL
That’s your job?

SANJAY
I’m not kidding you. We have lots of junk food and a few beautiful chicks around, even though it’s mostly dudes.

PAUL
Well, I’m more interested in the dudes.

SANJAY
Oh, there are a lot of gay and bisexual people at my job. There’s Nick, he’s gay, there’s Alberto, he’s bisexual, we’ve got Jason and Glenn . . . so what are you interested in doing when you grow up?

PAUL
I’m not thinking about then. I don’t really have a goal.

SANJAY
Oh, I see. So you’re a drifter, sliding through the pages in the book of life.

PAUL
I guess you could say that. I’m just thinking about getting out of my teen-age years alive. I live every day and then that’s a book in itself.

SANJAY
Up to the final book in the series?

PAUL
Yeah. I think so much about whether the things I do are OK that I don’t even have time to think about what I’m going to do when I grow up.

SANJAY
What kind of things?

PAUL
Things like spitting in public. Or the time I was talking about turds in Mrs. Dahlgren’s class.

SANJAY
Well, at my job the guys crack jokes about feces and urine a lot. This one guy, Wade, he can tell some mean fart jokes!

PAUL
You guys talk about gas?

SANJAY
Yeah, whenever one of us breaks wind we’ll talk about it a little and laugh. [Passes ground beef up.]

PAUL
You’re making hamburgers?

SANJAY
Sure. You want to come over to my house for hamburgers?

PAUL
Uh . . . I’m a vegetarian.

SANJAY
That’s cool. Why’d you become a vegetarian?

PAUL
Well, if you look at the past people decided it was wrong to hold witch hunts, or to arrest people for saying the Earth revolves around the Sun, or to keep women from voting, or to send Japanese-Americans to concentration camps. And when we think about the people of those times, we think about how wrong we all know they were. So I thought that in 200 years, people would realize it was wrong to kill animals. And I don’t want to be looked at as someone who was unable to rise above his time.

SANJAY
That’s cool.

PAUL
It’s been nice meeting you, uh . . . uh . . . [stumbling for name]

SANJAY
Sanjay.

PAUL
Sanjay. I’m Paul Moreno.

SANJAY
Later, Paul!

[PAUL sees MELANIE.]

PAUL
Melanie!

MELANIE
Hi, Paul!

PAUL
Whatchyou got there?

MELANIE
Some mangoes and papayas. I’m going to make smoothies.

PAUL
Your life must be happy.

MELANIE
Happy? Not . . . oh, uh, sure.

PAUL
My life is just being beaten by a club, one incident after another. Most recently I made out with Matt Kelly, and my father told me I’m grounded.

MELANIE
Grounded just for being gay? That’s wrong.

[MELANIE’s cellphone rings.]

MELANIE
Hello?

BRYCE
Hi, Melanie. It’s Bryce.

MELANIE
[Excited] Oh, hi, Bryce!

BRYCE
Melanie, I’m sick. I think it’s the flu. I won’t be able to come to that protest at St. Angela’s.

MELANIE
[Disappointed] Ohhhhhhhh! Well, I’ll still be there!

BRYCE
Good, they need every protestor they can get. My spirit will be there, even if I won’t!

MELANIE
OK, see ya Bryce!

BRYCE
See you.

[MELANIE hangs up.]

[Enter SCHURZ.]

MELANIE
Oh, no, it’s Officer Schurz!

SCHURZ
[On walkie-talkie] It looks like we’ve found him, juvenile Hispanic male, brown hair, brown eyes. [To PAUL] Hey, what’s your name?

PAUL
I’m Paul Moreno.

SCHURZ
[On walkie-talkie] Papa Alpha Union Lima . . . Mike Ocean Romeo Echo Nathan Ocean. [To PAUL] I heard you’re running away from home. Your father tells me he grounded you.

PAUL
He grounded me because I’m gay!

SCHURZ
Well, God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. And you’re 16, right?

PAUL
Don’t rub it in.

SCHURZ
Since you’re a runaway minor, I’m going to arrest you. [Gets handcuffs out.] You have the right to remain silent. [Handcuffs PAUL.] Everything you say can be used against you. [On walkie-talkie], I’m booking him.

MELANIE
Paul!

PAUL
This is too much for me to take! Is this where my life is going to end up?

SCHURZ
A kid like you . . . yeah.

[End of scene.]

ACT II, SCENE 9

[In ALAN’s house. ALAN is making a telephone call to PAUL.]

PAUL
Hello?

ALAN
It’s Alan. How did your trip to Grove Market go?

PAUL
[Crying] It was horrible. I got arrested! Arrested!

ALAN
Really?

PAUL
Officer Schurz handcuffed me, then he drove me off to the jail before sending me back to my father. My father yelled at me.

ALAN
That old fascist!

PAUL
Yeah. Now I have an arrest on my record.

ALAN
Ooh . . . if you ever apply for another job besides working at Grove, they’re going to find out you’ve been arrested.

PAUL
I don’t even think about my future. This guy at Grove Market, Sanjay, called me a drifter. But this is going to have repercussions.

ALAN
I know. What in particular are you so concerned about?

PAUL
My future with my father. He’s going to really come down on me hard now. I wish I didn’t have to live with him. But now I’ll be unable to get emancipated because I’ve run away.

ALAN
The world sucks right now. No one will listen to us. But even The World can’t be like this forever.

[Sings]
The strongest walls fall down
The brightest fire burns out
The thickest blood breaks up
The farthest hours pass by

The tightest chains break loose
The fattest ropes wear thin
The darkest clouds grow white
The wettest tears run dry

Yeah, I’m sure
It’s going to happen
Maybe not today
Maybe not tomorrow

Everything will be beautiful (someday)
Everything will be beautiful (someday)
Everything will be beautiful (someday)
Someday
I hope so . . .
Someday . . .
That’s what they always tell me
That’s what they say

PAUL
The saddest days will end
The cruelest times will pass
The meanest world will go
The greatest pain will die

The weakest hearts can heal
The deadest lives can rise
If you just watch the sun
And hold your hands up high

What may occur
I’ll keep on flappin’
To shine one sun’s ray
That will burst the sorrow

Everything will be beautiful (someday)
Everything will be beautiful (someday)
Everything will be beautiful (someday)
Someday
I hope so . . .
Someday . . .
That’s what they always tell me
That’s what they say

ALAN
You’ll live to see all of these events
So remember when it’s too much, and the pain gets too intense

Everything will be . . .
[Raps]
Everything’s falling down, falling down, look at the world before us,
My life’s going out with the bath water, drowned and drained, what’s in store for us?
Many things and many changes, because when you hear the world around us collapse
There will soon be a new order, and it will be more to our liking, perhaps, just perhaps
When things fall it brings destruction and therefore changes come with creation
Seasons change, and with the seasons changing comes growth and innovation
They tell me this world is improving, but I’m just not seeing it yet
We ain’t seen nothing yet
Are you ready, are you set?
We’re going to see how bad it’s going to get
And things will get worse
A phase they have to go through first
Before they can improve
Into something like you’ve
Never imagined, but that will be paradise
Very nice, a new roll of the dice, after blood and sacrifice and paying the price!
[End of rap]

ALAN and PAUL
Everything will be beautiful (someday)
Everything will be beautiful (someday)
Everything will be beautiful (someday)
Someday
I hope so . . .
Someday . . .
That’s what they always tell me
That’s what they say
[End of song]

PAUL
I don’t know what I’m going to do now. Do you know what the sentence for running away is?

ALAN
Uh, no. But just hold on strong to the Teen-age Life.

[Sings]
Shopping around
Hopping around from McJob to McJob
Like the latest teen heartthrob,
Hating the latest teen heartthrob
Like moshing, the GAP
Loitering, and crunk rap
Ocean Pacific, Jnco
Like ginger, ginseng, ginkgo
And Seattle
Constant battle with the world
[Stops singing]

It’s not your country that’s arresting you, Paul. You’re not a criminal. You’re a free man.

PAUL
Later.

ALAN
Good-bye. [Hangs up.] Now, to get a bassist.

[ALAN sits down with a Dulcevida telephone directory and dials TOM’s phone number.]

[TOM PHAM, a Vietnamese-American boy in Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts answers the phone.]

TOM
Hello?

ALAN
Hello, this is Alan Isaacs, and I’m looking to see if you would be interested in joining my band, Unfresh. I heard you play bass.

TOM
Oh, I’m already in a band.

ALAN
That’s OK. Do you know anyone who plays the bass who would be able to join my band?

TOM
Oh, try Rostam Zavvar. He plays stand-up bass. He’d be excellent at it.

ALAN
Thank you very much. Good-bye.

TOM
See you later.

[ALAN hangs up. He leafs through the directory and dials ROSTAM’s number.]

ROSTAM
Hello?

ALAN
Hello, Rostam? This is Alan Isaacs, and I wonder if you’d be interested in joining my band, Unfresh. We need a bassist. Austin Kim left the band.

ROSTAM
Oh, I don’t play the bass. I don’t play any instrument.

ALAN
Tom Pham told me you play stand-up bass.

ROSTAM
Well, I don’t know why, because I don’t.

ALAN
OK, see you, Rostam.

ROSTAM
See you.

[Alan hangs up. He dials TOM’s number again.]

TOM
Hello?

ALAN
Tom? I dialed Rostam Zavvar’s number and he said he doesn’t play bass.

TOM
Oh, he does. He’s been playing that for years. He’s just shy about admitting how great he is.

ALAN
Really?

TOM
Yes. Tell him you really want him in your band and that he doesn’t have to be afraid, and he’ll admit he plays it.

ALAN
OK, I will, Tom. Good-bye.

TOM
See you later.

[ALAN hangs up and calls ROSTAM again.]

ROSTAM
Hello?

ALAN
Stand-up bass?

ROSTAM
What about it?

ALAN
I know, you play stand-up bass, don’t you?

ROSTAM
No.

ALAN
You don’t have to be embarrassed about it, just admit it.

ROSTAM
I don’t play stand-up bass.

ALAN
You’re probably the best bassist in Armando, and why I’m inviting you to join Unfresh.

ROSTAM
Uh . . . I’ve never played the bass. The only instrument I ever played was recorder in third grade.

ALAN
But Tom distinctly said that you played stand-up bass. He said you were just shy about admitting it.

ROSTAM
Sorry, but I don’t.

ALAN
Are you telling me that Tom is lying?

ROSTAM
[Sheepishly] I guess.

ALAN
Let me call him. Good-bye, Rostam.

ROSTAM
See you.

[ALAN hangs up and calls TOM’s house again. TOM’s mother, MRS. PHAM, answers the telephone.]

MRS. PHAM
Hello?

ALAN
Hello, Tom?

MRS. PHAM
No, this is Tom’s mother, may I please ask who’s calling?

ALAN
This is Alan Isaacs. I called your son for info on who plays the bass and he told me that Rostam Zavvar plays stand-up bass. He tried to get me to call him, but it turns out he’s lying and Rostam never played stand-up bass, but Tom keeps trying to get me to call him. Could you stop your son from deceiving people like this?

MRS. PHAM
Well, Tom won’t bother you anymore.

ALAN
[Sighing] Oh, good.

MRS. PHAM
If you call this house again, I am going to call the police!

ALAN
WHAT!?!?!?

MRS. PHAM
You heard me.

ALAN
[Yelling] How dare you call the pigs on me when it’s your son who’s out of line? You Nazi with your gestapo tactics! The only person who belongs behind bars is your own son! The police are there for murder, rape, theft, drugs and tearing that little tag off the mattress, not for this! You use the gestapo for everything, don’t you? Don’t you! NAZI! NAZI! NAZI!

[MRS. PHAM hangs up.]

ALAN
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Scene fades.]

Hey, guys! A friend of mine hosted Angst online! You can now see the complete play at

http://www.fuckingstoner.net/yrshit/Angs...ration.pdf

Today I've got some YouTube videos of me singing Angst songs.

First, here's the chorus from "Students of the World, Unite":

http://www.youtube.com/v/UYCIW0R4Ei8

Now, the song "Maze of Wood":

http://www.youtube.com/v/-znz_BA-gdM

And finally, the chorus from "Everything Sucks":

http://www.youtube.com/v/d4ycXCKpVng

Tell me all what you think of the songs.

(This post was last modified: 05-25-2010 12:57 AM by Savegraduation.)